Domestic Violence 101

Learning is the Key to a Life Free of Violence.

Domestic violence is a crime punishable by law. Often referred to as battering, relationship abuse, or intimate partner violence, it is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over someone through fear and intimidation. It often includes the threat or use of violence, and can include physical, emotional, economic and sexual abuse.

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Types of Abuse

Verbal
Name-calling, yelling, belittling, using put downs, constant blaming and criticizing, threatening to kill you, a friend, family member or pet.

 

Emotional
Giving you the "silent treatment," accusing you of having affairs, not permitting you to use the phone, embarrassing you in front of others, bragging about infidelity, forcing you to stay in the house or locking you out of the house, harming pets, threatening or attempting suicide, monitoring your behavior.

 

Financial/Resource
Taking your money, putting all bills in your name, selling or destroying your possessions or property, making your account for every dime you spend, quitting or losing jobs, forcing you to write bad checks or commit crimes, not allowing you to work, taking or disabling your car.

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Sexual
Rape, forcing sex with partner's friends, forbidding birth control, forcing distasteful sex acts on you, beating if sex is refused.

 

Physical
Slapping, hitting, punching, choking, threatening with weapon, banging head into wall, dragging through the house, burning with cigarettes, throwing down stairs, pushing out of a car, blocking your entrance or exit, pushing, tripping, restraining.

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12 million

women and men are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner each year
 

1.5 million

high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year
 

900,000

children were confirmed to be victims of abuse or neglect annually 

 

Are You in an Abusive and Potentially Violent Relationship?

Answering the following questions will help you determine whether your relationship is abusive or becoming abusive.

 

Does Your Partner:

• embarrass you in front of others?

• belittle your accomplishments?

• make you feel unworthy?

• constantly contradict him/herself to confuse you?

• do things for which you are constantly making excuses to others, or yourself?

• isolate you from many of the people you care most about?

• make you feel ashamed most of the time?

• make you believe he/she is smarter than you and therefore, more able to make decisions?

• make you perform acts that are demeaning to you?

• use intimidation to make you do what he/she wants?

• prevent you from going or doing common activities such as shopping, visiting friends and family, and talking to the opposite sex?

• control the financial aspects of your life?

• use money as a way of controlling you?

• make you believe that you cannot exist without him/her?

• make you feel there is no way out?

• make you find ways of compromising your feelings for the sake of peace?

• treat you roughly, grab, pinch, push or shove you?

• threaten you verbally, or with a weapon?

• hold you to keep you from leaving during or after an argument?

• lose control when he/she is using alcohol or other substances?

• get angry frequently without an apparent cause?

• allow anger to escalate into violence?

• not believe that he/she hurt you or not feel sorry for what has happened?

• physically force you to do things you don't want to?

 

Do You:

• believe you can help your partner to change the abusive behavior if you were only to change yourself?

• find that not making him/her angry has become a major part of your life?

• do what he/she wants you to do out of fear rather than what you want to do?

• stay with him/her only because you fear he/she will hurt you if you leave or tell someone?

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If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, you may be in abusive relationship. Help, support and information are available to you through the DVCAC. Please, call our confidential 24-hour Helpline at

216-391-HELP(4357).